Live Grammy Blog

It’s Grammy time. And tonight that means a live blog. It didn’t start off that way. It started off with a string of bbms to a slew of friends, but that inspired the following.

I’m a big fan of LL Cool J.

Chris Brown should get a lifetime ban, he adds no value to this production. You beat a chick, you get the lifetime ban. We’ll call it the Pete Rose Grammy Rule. Call me S. Barlett GiaLockhart.

I’m waiting for someone to get up and thank Whitney for reminding us about how bad drugs can be for us. I’m waiting for The Staples Center crowd to break out in “Crack is Whack”. Bets on which comes first? Preferences?

I will say I had no idea Aretha was Whitney’s Godmother and that her mom was related to Motown. Great genes. Way to snort them away.

Who is little red riding hood? Oh, my sister says that it is Nikki Minaj, DUH! Thanks Sista. Well Nikki, I hope no one else is dressed as the big bad wolf tonight. Super bass super bass super bass.

Hey Reba, had any facial plastic surgery lately? Don’t get me wrong, I dig Reba. And, she’s a great capitalist. She is obviously taking some of her earnings and reinvesting in the economy by keeping a fine surgeon in business.

Sir Paul, congratulations. You’ve upgraded. That woman on your arm tonight was beautiful.

There are a few HOT girls by Jack Black outside tonight.

You know what the Grammys are missing? Cover Drive. Youtube that band. It’s always fun to be ahead of the curve on something.

You know what the Grammys are NOT missing? Commercials.

I’m telling you, there is an enormous opportunity for a single sponsor to make this a commercial free event. It’s painful.

Rihanna = overdramatic. Great voice, great look, too much lying on the ground. You’re not in pain. Get up and sing.

Mario Manningham really made the University of Michigan faithful proud tonight. What a mess. What am I talking about? He wore sunglasses inside…and had trouble with the one sentence he had to say.

UofM is an academic fraud though. They say “awwww, we’re so Ivy League of the midwest, awwww we’re so smart.” Oh, 4.4? In. Wait? 4.4 isn’t your weighted GPA? It’s a forty time? Hmmmmm. Still IN! I guarantee Duke’s basketball players would not have had a hard time with that sentence. The thing is, Michigan doesn’t need to be fraudulent. Just be honest. “We like being the winningest college football program more than we like being an institution of academic honor. We’re not the best college in the state of Michigan (Hillsdale is, thank you Forbes), and we’re ok with that.” Instead, the academic touting goes on all the time. It’s not Stanford. It’s not Duke.

Love Seacrest. What a stud. Hardest working man in Hollywood.

Where did Taylor Swift shop? Salt Lake City? Wow. (Update – Taylor offstage = stunning dress.)

Someone obviously needed to get rid of some scrap wood in Hollywood when they built the set for Taylor Swift. That was a debacle.

Kate Beckinsale = Top 10 brunette.

Katy Perry = Top 1 blue (is that how you refer to someone with blue hair? what a blue?)

Lady Antebellum, congratulations. You represent country music well. Is there a better group of individuals in a given genre than those in country? No. I’ll answer that for you.

Big fan of Gwyneth Paltrow. More Glee Gwyneth, more Glee.

Sidebar as I was just chatting with a friend. She took a train from Washington D.C. to New York City. It took 3 1/2 hours. That’s 226 miles. You can go from London to Edinburgh in 4 1/2 hours and that’s 400 miles. Get it together American train companies. That’s horribly inefficient.

Let’s take a moment to thank American Idol for giving us Carrie Underwood.

It’s been 2 1/2 hours of Grammys and I’m wondering what is still in store. This is getting LONG.

I don’t claim to be extremely tuned in all the time, but I never heard of Bon Iver before they (or he, or the city of Eau Claire, Wisconsin) won Best New Artist. I think it is fair to say it was a down year for that category.

Time for the “who died this year” montage. Wow! I had no idea Heavy D died, God rest his soul. And there’s Whitney. I was reminded that my mom played Whitney cassettes in the mid to late 80s. That’s 25 years ago. She was 48. Boy, did she make it HUGE at a young age. Unreal how little happened after The Bodyguard. What a waste. I’m guessing there might be people who ask what I did as an accountant after I turned 30 some day, but the lasting impact of booking a debit and credit is not the same as nailing a lasting Top 40 classic (well, to most at least).

Thank you Jennifer Hudson. What a class act. You just nailed that tribute.

And the follow-up is more the wifebeater Chris Brown? Hey Grammys, this guy is not that talented or fun to listen to (or watch, geez). I’m officially starting the “No more Chris Brown on TV” Group. What a waste of my time. I should be careful. He might try and come beat me up next.

I’m guessing there is a massive queue at the toilets in the Staples Center right now as the stars all get a break from being on TV so we can watch the “outdoor we couldn’t get in” fans show. Not a fan. Get back inside LL. If we wanted to watch “outdoor Grammys” it would be held at Central Park or The Mall in DC. Not under a random tent in LA.

Couldn’t someone have made sure that Nikki Minaj performed ‘Super Bass’? This performance is a debacle. At least I’m finding the time to use wikipedia to learn about what I’m seeing on here tonight. If she was singing ‘Super Bass’ I might actually be singing along – like I do on my boy Murph’s voicemail about once a week when I’m in the car.

Three hours and 18 minutes and counting.

Diana Ross just pointed out that she remembered LL when he was just a little kid. Not sure LL loved hearing that. Kind of a funny face. Seeing Diana reminds me of my visit to The Motown Museum where Berry Gordy recorded so many records. What a treasure in Detroit. The city needs to seriously capitalize on that at some point.

Congrats to Adele. Vocal cord surgery to get back on stage tonight and tons of victories – best record, best album. Definitely well deserved. I’m shocked she’s only 23. The Tottenham in Adele definitely came out on stage. Emotional moments get the real accent loud and clear.

So I just wikipedia’d Adele and found out she won Best New Artist in 2009, preceded by Amy Winehouse in 2008 and succeeded by Zac Brown Band in 2010. Reminder – Bon Iver just joined that trio. Really? Bon Iver?

Three hours and thirty minutes. Thank gosh I’m watching on Mountain Time and it started at 7pm. Wow.

Grammys, you were fun tonight. You have a long way to go to become the Brit Awards (my favorite award show to watch, not least because there are tables and it’s not a surprise to get a real drunken moment and a good piss-take), but you were fun.